||National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
CSA Survivor Force
The mission of CSA Survivor Force is to provide factual information about child sexual abuse (CSA) in a gripping manner to all forms of mass media to inform and educate large populations, reduce the stigma to discuss the topic, and affect change in individual and societal behaviors, policies and procedures across the U.S. and the world.
Child sexual abuse can be prevented and treated with a conscious and sustained effort.
Member - CSA Survivor Force:
Carol Levine |
||Carol Levine - New Jersey based activist
908 / 454-7522
Facebook profile - NAASCA Board Member, volunteer
I was born into a very dysfunctional but wealthy family in NY. My grandfather, one of the best flower growers in the world, was an alcoholic who liked to fight when drunk. He and my biological father, also an alcoholic, would at it go round after round. I witnessed many a fight. At home my 93 pound mother was my 230 pound father's victim. I saw much blood, broken noses and flying glass vases smashing to the floor. My father loved to throw knives. So I am an expert on Domestic Violence.
My mother left my father when I turned 6. She unintentionally placed me in harm's way with a pedophile uncle (who showed me no mercy) and a cold uncaring aunt. She fed me so little I would sneak downstairs at night to eat dog biscuits. So I know about sexual abuse and neglect.
Eventually I was moved to another relative's house where I was treated well. A few months later my mother came by and scooped up my brother and me. She had remarried! We had a new dad and a new home! But while living there I was kidnapped and raped by a stranger, a man who was stalking 8 year old girls. He was caught, and I was one of fourteen known child victims. He received a disappointing 3 year sentence. So I know about being kidnapped and raped.
Later my older brother, 5 years my senior, decided to regularly fondle me, and later on, more. I got no help from mother, even though I told her. So I know about incest.
For years I was a mess. I started drinking at age 13. Because of panic attacks, I thought I was going crazy. I ended up on the streets with other drunks and drug addicts. I made friends and was accepted there. So I learned how kids can end up on the streets.
I married early. He was a biker, which I liked. I actually had a good time for a while, but I saw things that I should not have, like people who overdosed, and chain fights. My husband turned out to be a monster, like my father, and treated me the same way. So, despite having two wonderful children by him, I did not manage to break the cycle of abuse.
My saving grace was the Saint James church in Red Bank, NJ. Over 30 years ago they saw I needed help. A condition of receiving counseling at the church was that I was required to attend AA meetings. Also, I had to work with kids who'd been living in foster care or were delinquent, etc. I told my story at the church. I learned more and more. I started to heal spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I no longer suffered from low self-esteem.
No one knows the pain, shame, embarrassment, fear or PTSD that traumatized survivors feel better than a person who's lived through them, too.
An active member of NAASCA, I spread the word about child abuse anywhere I am asked.